Take what you like, leave the rest.
This is not your typical self-help book in that I’m not a typical self-helper. I’d never dream that I have all the answers for someone else. This is me, sharing with you what I did to begin healing, and you, deciding what works for you from what I’ve learned.
Although an entire section of what’s written in these pages is directed at a person who is and has been chronically ill, much of what I learned is helpful to any body. Mind/Body principles are the same for everyone. Help your body heal and you will help your mind heal and vice/versa. You may be on a path headed in a direction you don’t really want to go, where symptoms keep getting worse. You might not be “chronic” yet, but perhaps you can see it on the horizon. Find what’s helpful in this book to you right where you are and ignore the rest.
I’m not a doctor. I don’t have a degree. It’s up to every person to do their own due-diligence and get to know their own bodies as well as I now know mine. It’s never too late or too early to start. Maybe this is the perfect time for you to start or continue that journey!
It took me a while to get to know myself so well. I had to get over some major hurdles first.
HURDLE 1: I took back my personal power.
After years and years of being chronically ill, after years and years of seeing doctors and tests and hospital stays and medications, I decided to stop asking the doctors to validate my illnesses and pain.
I was told for so many years that I was “ish” and not quite “something” and I would go home after invasive and expensive tests, time after time, questions unanswered, still feeling sick and feeling defeated. I was waiting for those doctors to give my issues a name. I needed them to validate how ill I was feeling, how small and terrible my life had become, by at the very least, telling me what was wrong with me. I was super defeated and depressed that they didn’t.
You can only take your doctors looking at you like you’re a crazy hypochondriac for so long before you go a little bonkers. “No, really!” you want to yell, “I feel really, really ill!” And they do the equivalent of patting you on the head and sending you home because your test results don’t show what evidence they need to see to give you a diagnosis.
It took about ten years to finally get diagnosed with Lupus SLE. And what I wished is that I hadn’t waited until then to make big changes to how I was treating myself. I knew where I was hurting. I know how I felt in my body. And at any point along the way I could have chosen to make the changes to how I was treating myself instead of waiting for a doctor to believe and then tell me to.
I’m not blaming the victim here. Our medical cobweb of checks and balances that doctors are caught in, with insurance companies calling all the shots, makes any person trying to find answers jump through hoop after hoop and it’s wrong. But, in my case, I could have cut out sugar way earlier, for example. I knew it wasn’t good for me and it would have helped me a lot.
One you get the big diagnosis names, you qualify for medications and therapies provided by doctors and that’s hugely important. Before you get the big diagnosis names, you qualify right this moment for better care from yourself. You don’t have to wait.
HURDLE 2: I stopped confusing myself with my illnesses
A part of reclaiming my power was a decision to stop calling myself by the names of my illnesses. I am not mentally ill. I am not lupus. I am challenged with mental and physical illnesses. Changing the way I said that to myself allowed me to divorce myself from the illness and visualize myself on the other side of it.
When smack dab in the middle of a huge flair, it can be harder to separate myself from my illnesses, but that’s when it’s the most important. I have to have other things, separate from illness, that are me. And I have to focus on them, even if it’s only one moment at a time.
I love watching the sky from my studio. The clouds and sunsets, the hummies that come visit the salvia, the crows that patrol the area – all of it are things I love and that are outside what’s happening in my body. I love podcasts and reading when I can hold a book. I doodle. I knit. I am more than my illnesses. Much more.
HURDLE 3: I started talking to myself in neutral-to-positive ways.
I started listening to how I was talking about myself, even just to myself. I tried to stop being so critical. Instead of “My leg is so stupid today,” because it was hurting and I hated that, I tried saying something like, “My leg is asking for a little extra love and attention today. I love you, leg!” Sounds cheesy! I know.
Once I started paying attention, I was shocked at how I was talking to and about myself. SO much criticism and frustration and yes, sometimes hate. But, once I started the game of trying to change my language, I realized my actual feelings were changing, too. I was softer to myself. More patient, too. I’m not kidding, my friend, love works.
HURDLE 4: I became willing to work to get well over everything else, even pizza.
I didn’t want to be one of those gluten-free-freaks. I truly didn’t. I love my breads! And those people that are always talking about what they are and aren’t eating? Puleeze.
And yet. I started keeping a food diary because I kept surprise-vomiting and couldn’t figure out why some days I was sick and some days I wasn’t. It was hard to do it every day, all day, for 2 months, recording everything I ate, how much, how I prepared it, and when I ate it, and how I felt, but I did it and I learned so many valuable things about how my body processes foods.
I allowed myself to mourn that for a few weeks while I pretended LALALALA and experimented with adding some breads in at some times and thinking it might be ok, like when I went out for dinner and they had rolls. Surely OUT rolls would be different than HOME rolls, right?! Alas, no.
I stopped caring what anyone else thought about me eating the guts out sandwiches and leaving the bread behind because I started to feel better. And the better I felt, the more willing I was to do whatever I needed to do to stay that way.
I was on a quest for wellness and I could see it, just right there. I was feeling differently than I could ever remember in my entire life. It was awesome. I had hope. And with that hope came the drive to be persistent.
And If I can do it, so can you!
Waking up one morning and deciding to jump in with both feet by cutting out all the “bad” foods, exercising for an hour in the mornings, quitting caffeine immediately and only eating raw, organic foods starting from today (for realsies this time!) might sound like a good way to go and the fastest way from point A to point B, but it’s actually just a recipe for disaster and quite unkind to your body.
Slow and steady wins the race and makes lasting, healthy changes. The Body Support Checklist will show you my suggestions for creating and keeping changes that stick.
The entirety of what’s in this website is simply too much to do all at once because it’s a change of life, not a diet. It’s real, lasting healing for your entire Mind/Body that will improve how you feel and your ability to enjoy the rest of your life.
Here’s some things we’ll go over:
Energy is what makes everything work. Every single atom in the universe contains energy. You are full of energy. Everything you think, breathe and put in and out of your body, including media, can help you feel better or worse. It can increase your physical energy or take away from your energy stores. We know that non-positive words can have an effect on a person, especially a child who is repeatedly told something damaging, but we need to really embrace that knowledge and use it intentionally with ourselves in our healing process.
Positive Self-Talk is crucial for healing. It’s something that you can learn. It takes practice, but it’s well worth how uncomfortable you might feel with it at first. It helps teach mindfulness, which is a foundational healing element. Being Mind-full means spending time being in the moment, being aware of what’s happening around you and in you, and observing instead of judging. It opens a portal of communication to your inner Self and gives you a chance to choose how you want to Act instead of knee-jerk Re-Acting. Being intentional with your actions creates a greater sense of connection and joy and then we can begin or continue healing in that space.
Nutrition is the building block your physical needs are built on. You must figure out which foods are healing for your system versus which foods take away from your energy stores and inhibit real change to take place. If you keep putting in foods you can’t digest, all your systems have to pause while they work on it. This leads to foggy brain, gas and bloating, exhaustion, inflammation and malnutrition. (Updates on this here.) You need to figure out what works for you and what your body is asking for.
There are ways to put this all together, so you are a cohesive unit up top, down below and all throughout your body systems. We’ll explore how mental health is connected to your gut and how to lay down new neural pathways and make new habits stick.
Ready? Let’s do this.
-Updated October 2025